i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
