Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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