I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
