also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
