Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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