So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
