yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Alive.
So much puke
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
