I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
