my vag is so smooth its legendary
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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