We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
