the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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