you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
