if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
