whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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