Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Randomize
