dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
wat bout pragnant strippers??
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
