please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
