First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
