You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
