I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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