so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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