drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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