With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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