So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
