My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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