I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i think im in europe. pls send help
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
