She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
