He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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