nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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