so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
please come you make the beer taste better
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
