I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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