names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
