dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize