Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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