woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
