I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Let's paint friendship bongs
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
