I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
