so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
