You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
