we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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