I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
