do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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