If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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