i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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