I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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