So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
