we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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