put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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