last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
