Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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