burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
