she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize