My hair reeks of homosexuality.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
