Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
