Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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