Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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