Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
