just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
